Chapter 17

Okay, so it's been 5 months and 3 days since my last post.  Maybe I should let you know how it's been going...

There is actually TONS I can, and probably should, report.

First, I just finished Chapter 17.  Exactly 20 more chapters to go.

I've remained on my 1-chapter-a-week schedule with 3 exceptions:

I didn't write June 28th because Eddie Izzard was in town, so I partied with him that night.  Just kidding.  I went to see him at the Long Center.  (AWESOME!!!  Of course!)

The following week the other Overnight Guy at work called in sick, so I covered his nights and didn't get a chance to write.

The last weekend the other Overnight Guy took some vacation.  (I just came off an 11-days-straight work binge.)  So the previous Saturday I wrote two chapters, so that I could remain on-schedule.

Early on, I realized that I didn't put enough work into my Outline.  That's a tough lesson to learn once you've started your pages.

In the past, this would have been an excuse for me to give up on this novel and move to another one, but I've been there and done that, and all it got me was several un-finished projects.

So I'm muscling through my First Draft, a chapter a week (which is a comfortable pace for me because I get 3-day weekends, and so I still get 2 days to myself to recuperate from work).

I'm not stopping to rewrite my Outline because I need to (NEED TO) experience this.  I know a bunch about writing craft, I have tons of personal experience with what it's like to come up with ideas and turn them into  stories, but the experience I am sorely lacking is seeing a project through to the end.

There is an argument to be made that if I were to stop and rewrite my Outline, then I might fall back in love with my novel, and the First Daft would get written faster because I would be enjoying the work more.  And that's a valid argument, I feel, but not the course I am going to pursue with this novel.

As I write these chapters, I am having to create more to turn, say, a non-dramatic exposition scene into something that feels more like drama.

SIDE NOTE: The "Polti Scene tool" idea is rubbish.  Ignore it.  It isn't helping me one bit.  It helped BEFORE I started writing pages because it made me feel more confident about my Outline...but then...that might have actually proved to be a liability.

The other option is to simply allow the chapters to be short.

In fact, the impression I am getting is that, in the end, when I rewrite this novel I will probably just be shorting it by maybe half.  I'll see what my beta readers tell me, but I think the outline I wrote is actually a novella.  I still like the idea and believe this will become a sellable story, but I don't think it's a proper 70,000-word/80,000-word novel.

The irony here is that, for fun, I have been working on another novel, intended to run about 20,000 words that I can sell as an eBook.  I'm creating a whole "series bible" for this new novel (even if it doesn't become a series), and I suspect that when I get around to outlining the story for this novel, I think I will have enough material for a proper 80,000-word novel!  The novel I'm writing will probably become an eBook and the novel I'm planning will probably become the full-length novel!

This idea of "series bibles" is what I really should talk about.

I watched some videos on YouTube of Jim Butcher talking about writing, and he hit on an idea that really intrigued me: He suggests you create characters as you would for a role-playing game.

And that got me thinking:

I have The Dresden Files RPG books on my Kindle and so, for fun, I thought I would use them (Volume 1, actually, "Your Story") to turn this idea about a guy who stumbles into Faeryland into a novel.

The gamers start with the creation of the City.  (Creating characters comes later.)  And this has been EXTERMELY HELPFUL!!!

I should back up a step...

The reason I thought it would be a good idea to use this role-playing game system to create if because writing up character bios hasn't proven to be much help for me.

For one project, years and years ago, I didn't have any story ideas, so I wrote up character bios for an entire cast of characters...and I couldn't get them to do anything!

I had ALL THIS INFORMATION on these people, I sat a few of them in a scene together, and NUTHIN'.

Plus, I simply do not know how much character information is ENOUGH.  How can we know?

I'm a creative guy, I can write fake histories forever!  But when do I stop and write the actual story?

And conversely, how much information is too little?

John Vorhaus just drops a character into a scene (crossing the street is the example he gives in THE LITTLE BOOK OF SITCOM) and see what the character does.

I know I can write this way, too.  I've done it.  I've written some pretty entertaining shorts whose characters' backstories are only as deep as what you see on the page.  They're interesting characters, they feel "well rounded" and "three-dimensional", but I didn't do character bios for them.

So how much prep work is enough?

My answer is "as much as the authors of THE DRESDEN FILES ROLE-PLAYING GAME, VOLUME 1: YOUR STORY tell me is enough".

And so far, that has been an EXCELLENT answer!  The authors are really, really good about pointing you to exactly how much you need to know before you start gaming and how much you can figure out later!

Oh, and the reason I thought creating a Series Bible for my next novel would be a good idea is because I hope everything I write right now becomes a series, and I want to be able to, before each outline, go back to the bible and refer to the core of my characters.  (And their city.)

That idea about defining the city as you would one of your characters is really an inspiration!

If I'm going to keep referring to their work, I should probably learn their names...

Leonard Balsera, Jim Butcher, Genevieve Cogman, Rob Donoghue, Fred Hicks, Kenneth Hite, Ryan Macklin, Chad Underkoffler, and Clark Valentine

Though I am given to understand that Jim Butcher didn't really have anything to do with developing the game.  He contributed bits here and there (as well as the Dresden-verse!!!), but he doesn't take credit for the game itself.

Anyway, this The City concept...

When I come up with a story concept, it usually takes the form of "wouldn't it be cool if this guy who's psychic accidentally stumbles into Faeryland and get entangled in what's going on there, which turns out to be affecting the physical layer of Reality!"

But that's not a story.

WHAT is going on in this particular non-physical layer of Reality?  How does it affect the physical layer?  What, SPECIFICALLY, happens?

I could write this guy's Character Bio, and then use his specific character traits to craft foils and adversaries and a love interest and all that -- and that might be a perfectly sensible way to figure out what the actual story is; I am given to believe that many writers work that way -- but I really like this idea of taking a step back and figuring out the world the characters live in first!

Here's why:

You've got certain thematic material that you're carrying around with you always.  For example, in my stories, getting wasted doesn't solve a problem, it usually prolongs it.  It's bad to murder.  In fact, it's bad for any person to enforce their will upon another's freedom.  Lying isn't a great idea.  Actually, concealing Truth is a bad idea; lying is sometimes necessary to protect someone's feelings; but when asked whether you lied, it's usually a good idea to admit that you lied.

You get the idea.  There are certain things that we each believe to be a proper way to live, and those are most likely going to find their ways into our stories.

But then there is certain thematic material that is unique to each story.

In the story I'm writing, themes that leap out at me are "assume nothing, even the impossible", "there's more to life than what we are told", "follow the evidence".

The idea of creating the City your story takes place in first allows you to figure out what you actually want to write from a Big Picture perspective as you're trying to figure out what your story is.

The game-folks encourage you to figure out what the Themes and Threats of your City are.

For example, I've got a Faery City that "overlaps" a physical City.  I've got a tiny lake-side city that I ganked from a discarded sitcom I tried to write a few years ago.  It's a tourist trap with tons of Nature.

So for my physical City the Themes might be "Not in front of the tourists", and "As long as it looks good on the outside".  My Threat might be "Enjoy nature, but don't go too deep into the woods."

This gives me an idea of the types of storylines I can look for.  There's the JAWS aspect of "we need those tourist dollars, because that's how we survive" that suggests that the city government and law enforcement might be willing to try to sweep certain things under the rug in order to keep that needed tourist money flowing in during the tourist season.  So I might be looking for storylines that deal with (minor) political corruption.  There's also the implication of a certain degree of denial in the City's population.  (Most of it, anyway... And the ones who aren't in denial will probably make for interesting characters!)

This City is starting to look like an interesting place to explore, right?

And if I stick with the Threat I have created -- "Enjoy nature, but don't go too deep into the woods" -- then my stories will revolve around unfortunates wandering where they shouldn't and people trying to restore the safety of the public at large.

Okay, within these parameters, I can think of 5 storylines off the top of my head:

1. A tourist is water-skiing and they go under...but they don't come back up!  Someone has to figure out what happened to them and prevent it from happening to anyone else.

2. A spelunker comes back with an exotic artifact.  The artifact changes hands, and everyone who has possessed the artifact ens up dead in some strange manner.  Someone has to figure out what is going on and return the artifact to where it came from.

3. A hiker get lost, and the party that goes after her finds themselves in a strange land (remember that this is a series about a non-physical world overlaying our physical word, a literal Faery story), and they have to try to try to find the hiker and get back to the regular world.

4. The town Sheriff tries to figure out why bicyclers are going missing before Tourist Season begins in earnest.

5. An impossible creature stalks the town and must be sent back to where it came from.

I literally came up with those 5 stories off the top of my head just now.  Took me maybe 5 minutes.  I could turn the first 4 into full-length novels with the storyline as the main plot.  (The 5th one is a bit too vague and too cliche...but it could make an interesting subplot.)

If I combined any 2 of them...  THAT could be a COOL novel!

And that's just using the Themes and Threats of the City!

AND...

...I haven't even gotten into what's going on in my non-physical City!!!

What are the politics of that City?  What are its basic living conditions?  How is it affected by the physical City?  IS it affected by the physical City?  What if it's not usually affected by the physical City, but something has recently happened and now it IS affected?

And I haven't even touched on my Main Character yet!

So this is why I'm now attracted to the idea of creating a Series Bible for even a single novel, and why I really, really like the DRESDEN FILES RPG system as a guide to creating my stories.

The system is intended to create enough stories to keep a bunch of role-play gamers playing every weekend for YEARS!

And yet, they suggest things like, for your City's Threats and Themes, come up with two Themes and a Threat.  So, in order to generate tens and hundreds of stories, you only need 2 City Themes and a City Threat?!

Of course!

Because you're going to have your Characters, who will ALL have their own baggage and wants and histories, and when you combine all these ingredients together, you have ENDLESS stories to tell!!!

With the Series Bible, you can even pick your genre.  The 5 storylines I came up with are of the Horror/Adventure flavor, but -- again, using only the City Themes and City Threats information -- I can come up with 5 Romance storylines off the top of my head:

1. A shop-owner meets a Faery woman in the woods and falls in love, but he can't even tell his friends and family about the wonderful, perfect love he has discovered.

2. A spelunker discovers a fantastical realm inside a cave wherein he meets a non-physical Princess, but a rival for her hand tries to drive him back to his own realm.

3. Missing hikers cause the town's Sheriff to look into the mystery, but his wife, the town's Mayor, tries to get him to stop "stirring up trouble" so close to Tourist Season.  (There is probably a young, hot female Deputy, who also wants to solve the mystery, involved...)

4. A swimmer almost drowns, but is saved by a strangely noble water-god.  The only way she can think to see her water-god again is to try to  drown herself again.  The water-god saves her again, and takes her to his non-physical underwater kingdom, where she discovers that she isn't the only one who is vying for the water-god's affections...

5. A cyclist who has lost his wife wonders if he will ever love again, until he discovers a previously unseen trail that leads him to the most amazing woman he has ever met...only she's not human...

Okay, I'm not a Romance writer, so that list probably took me 30 to 45 minutes to come up with.

Now, not being an aficionado of the Romance genre, I don't actually know if any of the above storylines are actually decent grist of a Romance novel...  But, DUDE!!! 45 minutes to come up with 5 STORIES?!!  Many beginning writers would KILL for A story, much less FIVE!!!  (There have certainly been times when I would have done some fairly questionable things to come up with a single storyline!)

And, again, that's just working off of City Themes and City Threats.

Okay, so this blog post has gone on for quite a while now.  I think I'm going to stop.

I guess the point is this:

I have fallen out of love with my Outline for the novel I am writing.  (I still like it, and the characters, and I really enjoy writing each chapter each week, but my hopes that this will be THE novel that gets me world-wide recognition have completely diminished.)  So I am doing prep-work for another novel (Actually, another novel and an audio series, but I'm not getting into the details of the latter here) for recreation.

I thought this might be interesting to report to you because it seems like a novel way to deal with the fact that I have fallen out of love with the novel I am writing, and yet I continue to write it.

If, say, you create a series and it becomes your cash-cow, enabling you to write full-time, but you fall out of love with it, this could be a useful strategy to keep you writing your money-maker while continuing to enjoy yourself as a writer!  (And, who knows, maybe generate your next cash-cow!)

May we all experience such dilemmas!!!

Chapter 3

Just checking in to say that I finished Chapter 3 this weekend.

So far, my progress has been one chapter a week.

And I don't write this chapter over the course of an artistically excruciating 7 days.  I'm off Friday through Sunday.

On Friday I decompress.

On Saturday I meet up with my friend Denise on Skype and we catch up for forty-five minutes or so, then we write together, checking in every half hour or so to see how things are going.

After a couple of hours -- during which I write about half my chapter -- it's usually her bedtime, so we sign-off for the week and I finish my chapter solo.

Then, because I'm young(-ish) and single, I down some celebratory beers and fritter away the rest of my Saturday.

And then Sunday is just for me, too.

I have considered writing on Sunday, also, usually during the week when I'm feeling ambitious or impatient.  But it hasn't been working out that way.

See, I'm milking a fine line between Discipline and Inspiration.  I have tried writing only when I am inspired to...  Nothing gets done.  And I have tried writing with the type of discipline that Stephen King advocates...  Excuses arise.  (I don't mean that I find excuses not to write, I mean that excuses FIND ME!  Aggressively!  Steven Pressfield calls this "Resistance" and insists we work through it, but that hasn't worked for me, either.)

But since I have a fairly detailed outline to work from, dipping in once a week to write a chapter seems to be working just fine.

I start by reviewing the outline, then I search for "a way into" the chapter.  I try to figure out the first lines of the chapter.

If the chapter is largely exposition, I see how I can play with the Polti Dramatic Situation I have assigned to the chapter.  I also see if there are any fun character moments I might be able to fit in.  Or any compelling details that might give the scene more life (setting or weather or sounds or something).

But mostly, once I find the first couple of sentences, and more sentences seem to be flowing, I dive in and write.

Since my chapter are around 2,000 words, I can usually follow the "flow" to the halfway mark.  Then I step away from the computer -- maybe 15 or 20 minutes, but no more than half an hour -- to "cleanse" my creative "pallet".  Then back to it.

My dream, of course, is to do this every single day, making my living this way.  But for now, working an intensive 40-plus-hour-a-week job, I'm satisfied with a chapter a week.  (It's better than I averaged last year.  Or the year before that.  Or the decade before that.)

So according to yWriter, a free program I am using to help organize my novel as I write it, Chapter 1 is 1,210 words, Chapter 2 is 2,187 words and Chapter 3 is 3,215 words, for a current total of 6,612.  My ambitious (probably overly ambitious, with this particular novel) wordcount goal is 90,000, so I have 83,388 to go.

With such a daunting task ahead of me, can you fault me for being proud of the little progress I have made?

Anyway, I just wanted to through in an update on my chapter progress.

Oh, yeah!

One of the reasons I wanted to write this post is because I wanted to point out something that I think is very important:

Writing my chapters, I do most of my worrying about quality BEFORE I start typing the pages.

Then, WHEN I'M WRITING the pages, I strike a balance between riding that flow of words that spills out once you get going, and worrying about quality.

AFTER I finish the chapter, I do a wordcount (My target is around 2,000 words per chapter -- more is great and less is a question of how much less) and a spell check, then I print my pages out and put them in a binder.

I will not allow myself to tinker with chapters until I am finished with the rough draft.

I think Stephen King suggests this in ON WRITING.  Opening up the file and tweaking one passage might lead to tweaking others, which could lead to a complete rewrite of the chapter and a loss of momentum.

He suggestions that you print the pages out and just don't open that file again until the book is done.  If you need to reread a previous chapter for continuity, read the pages in the binder.  And if, while reading, you spot a change you want to make, write a note in the margin of the appropriate page.

I already know I need to change a detail in Chapter 2, and I have made the appropriate note in the margin of the appropriate page.

Maybe I would be able to go in and do a quick rewrite without wasting time that should be spent on further chapters, but I'm trusting the professional's advice here.

So, to recap:

I worry about quality BEFORE I start writing.

Then WHEN I'M WRITING I ease-up on the quality control and give into the fun of creating.

Then AFTER the chapter is finished, I LEAVE IT the fuck ALONE!  I have more chapters to write!  I don't have time to worry about what is already written.

I'm going to be rewriting the whole thing anyway, why waste time before this draft is completed?

There is a famous saying by Lorne Michaels, and it's been quoted by a staggering variety of the cast member who have worked on Saturday Night Live:

"The show doesn't go on because it's ready; it goes on because it's 11:30."

When I got that -- when I really got it -- is when I embarked upon my current path as a writer.

This recent series of blog posts is not really intended to teach you the "proper and only way" to go from not being a novelist to being a novelist.  (I don't believe such a thing exists.)  If this book gets published, then the only thing these blog posts is intended to illustrate is that you CAN be a novelist NOW.

If it's your desire to be a novelist, then you SHOULD be a novelist NOW!

The Polti Report

The first valuable thing I learn is that Philip Blackwood's first Mystery novel isn't #11 "Enigma", but #2 "Deliverance".

That's useful information!!!  :O

I'll explain:

Stories are magic: We don't know exactly how they work, but we know that they sometimes do.  And when they work, they can work GANGBUSTERS! 

Carl Jung had some exciting theories about archetypes working on the subconscious mind -- a collective unconscious, as it were --  and since the success of the (original 3) STAR WARS films Hollywood has become convinced that every movie should be a Campellian Monomyth, underpinned by "the Hero's Journey".

And while it can be fun to mock Hollywood for adhering slavishly to some turn-of-last-century-psychoanalytical speculation, I secretly believe that Jung was onto something.  (Maybe more than most Jungian psychologists are willing to embrace.)

At the very least, at my most conservative estimation, I suspect that we (an Audience) "sense" when "something's missing" for a story or story moment.

Though I don't necessarily believe that when I dream about snakes I'm dreaming about some period of transition in my life, I totally buy that when I watch a movie "payoff" scene that was cut, the movie feels weaker, less impactful to me.  Conversely, there is no doubt that certain movies -- like the first THE MATRIX flick -- affect me more deeply than I can articulate.

So if I assumed (as I would have) that my first Philip Blackwood Mystery was an "Enigma" story, here's where I would have been falling short:

--

Elements:
- Interrogator
- Seeker
- A Problem

Summary:
The Interrogator poses a Problem which the Seeker must solve.

Variants:
A: Search for person who must be found on pain of death
B: A riddle to be solved on pain of death

A riddle to be solved on pain of death in which the poser is the coveted woman

C:
- Temptations offered with the object of discovering his name
- Temptations offered with the object of ascertaining the sex
- Tests for the purposes of ascertaining the mental condition

Discussion:
Puzzles and problems draw the reader into the situation as they (the reader) also seeks to understand and resolve the puzzle.

A basis of the motivation we feel to resolve puzzles is the need for completion and the consequent reward of closure. Resolving enigmas makes us feel clever and intellectual and hence more able to face life's other challenges.

More general temptations play to basic needs and desires.

--

I've got no "on pain of death" material.  No one is likely to die in my novel.

I'm not searching for anyone, nor anyone's name.

So if I were trying to make my novel live up to the inherent, unconscious "Enigma" storyline, I would fail miserably.

However...


There is #2 "Deliverance":

--

Elements:

- An Unfortunate
- A Threatener
- A Rescuer

Summary:
The Unfortunate is threatened in some way by the Threatener and is saved by the Rescuer.

Variants:
A: Appearance of a rescuer to the condemned.

B:
- A parent replaced upon the throne by his children.
- Rescue by friends or by strangers grateful for benefits or hospitality.

Discussion:
Being rescued plays to the primitive need for safety and echoes the childhood theme of being 'saved' by parents from the various messes into which children get themselves.

The general field of psychoanalysis is full of observations around the theme of patterns that originate from infancy

--

Okay, that's TOTALLY my novel!!!  I've got all those elements!!!  They're right there!

So knowing that my story fits the "Deliverance" Dramatic Situation like a glove, I really don't have to sweat the way the story as a whole plays out.  I just have to make sure I play up certain elements:

1. An Unfortunate
2. A Threatener
3. A Rescuer
4. Appearance of a rescuer to the condemned.  (Making this a #2A story, technically.)

So as a #2A type dramatic situation, I just need to remember that when "the condemned" meet my hero, the "rescuer" I should sort of make a big-ish deal out of the fact that Philip has "deigned" to help the Brimes family out.  Easy!

Now, if I hadn't figured this out before I started writing, it is entirely possible that the missing "the Rescuer appears to the Condemned" story moment might have left the Reader's subconscious wondering just what type of story this is supposed to be, and left the Reader slightly unfulfilled after the story was finished.

I make this assumption because I don't think Jung was wrong about his archetypes theories.  I may be completely wrong here.

But you know what?

It costs me NOTHING to proceed as though a lot of what Jung was saying was correct, and it gives me the reassurance that I have analyzed the fuck out of my Outline before I started writing the actual chapters.

So here I go...

Chapter 1:

#7D "Falling Prey to Cruelty or Misfortune; The unfortunate robbed of their hope"

This scene is about BRITNEY BRIMES (a fascinated viewer of Paranormal Reality TV shows) discovering that some of the weirdness in her home is malevolent, it intends her harm.  (Ironically, it's the ghost of a young boy who is pretending to be "The Devil" and could not hurt her if he tried to, and also ironically, the reason he is threatening her is because he is afraid she might offer harm to his sister or himself.)

Chapter 2:

#2A "Deliverance; Appearance of a rescuer to the condemned."

Okay, I'm juking with this concept a little bit, but I think this will work..  I think the "appearance" will work because Philip "appears" to the Reader at the same time he appears to Misty in this scene.  Now, the way this won't work is the fact that Misty obviously knew Philip before the Reader is introduced to him...  However...  I think I might be able to pull this off (on a subconscious level) because this is the introduction of the character to the Reader AND this scene introducing the Reader to Philip echoes the Dramatic design of the story as a whole!

So I'm willing to take this chance and take any potential consequences of not introducing Misty as an "Unfortunate" before revealing the "appearance of a rescuer to the condemned".

Plus, I'm hoping the Reader will be dealing with the fact that the explanation of this mini-Mystery is both paranormal AND mundane so that they won't "feel" the imperfections of this configuration of story logic.

Chapter 3:

#2A - Part 1

Okay, this is the first part of the Main Story, so Tiffani is the agent of introduction between the "Rescuer" and the "Unfortunates".

So this scene really doesn't have it's own internal motivation, other than to begin other parts of Philip's subplot arcs...

Chapter 4:

#20C "Self-sacrificing for an ideal; Sacrifice of well-being to duty"

This one will take a little work, and it's an excellent example of why I chose to do this before writing the chapters.

Chapter 4, as originally conceived, is just an exposition scene.  It's meant to unnerve the Reader by displaying a sampling of the paranormal phenomena that has been recorded, but it's not really a dramatic scene.

However, it can easily be turned into a 20C scene if I emphasize that Philip doesn't want to investigate, but he feels a moral responsibility to lend his expertise to the Brimes family.

Chapter 5:

#2A - Part 2

This scene is clearly the next movement in the overall "Deliverance" plot.

Chapter 6:

#28 - Part 1 "Obstacles to love"

I feel I'm being a bit deceptive with this one, because I never really intended for Philip and Amber to get together.  But, clearly, this is the dramatic beat I'm playing here.

Chapter 7:

#20C "Self-sacrificing for an ideal; Sacrifice of well-being to duty"

This is this beat again.  But kind of reversed from Chapter 4.  Here's I'm really playing up the "well-being" part, so much so that Philip intends to back out.  Now all I have to do is remember to play the "duty" note before he re-commits to the case.

Chapter 8:

#33A2 - Part 1 "Erroneous judgment; False suspicion"

Here are the elements:

- The Mistaken One
- The Victim of the mistake
- The Cause or Author of the mistake
- The Guilty Person

"The Mistaken One makes some judgment about or is suspicious about the Victim, instead of the Guilty Person. This is due to some Cause or is caused by the Author of the mistake."

So in the subplot of which this is the first part, Carlton Brimes is "The Mistaken One", Britney Brimes is "The Victim of the mistake", the Elemental is "The Guilty Person" and the idea that Britney might be a poltergeist "agent" (the focus or perhaps cause of poltergeist activity) is "The Cause of the mistake".

This situation is complicated by the fact that Carlton's false suspicion will lead Philip and CTPI to falsely suspect the same thing -- but only because Carlton didn't share his suspicions right up front so that CTPI couldn't investigate and rule it out.

Chapter 9:

#12 "Obtaining"

- A Solicitor
- An Adversary who is refusing

"A Solicitor requests something of the Adversary, who refuses to cooperate."

Technically, this would be #12B "Endeavor by means of persuasive eloquence alone", but I think "Obtaining" pretty much says it all.

The ghost hunters are trying to obtain evidence of paranormal activity, and the ghosties are refusing to give it up.  And the chapter ends with the ghosts not cooperating.

To me, this chapter is invaluable because it offers the Reader a realistic understanding of what paranormal investigation is: You try and you wait.  When I first got started, someone compared ghost hunting to fishing: You cast your line, and then you wait; and some days you don't get a single nibble.

It's essential for noobie ghost hunters to understand this, but I think that if Readers are going to appreciate this story, they will need to"experience" a realistic investigation, to understand how rare activity is, even at a location that has a lot of activity.

But the key to making this chapter -- in which nothing actually happens -- feel like a dramatic scene, I will need to frame it within the parameters of "Obtaining".

Chapter 10:

#33A2 - Part 2 "Erroneous judgment; False suspicion"

Technically, this is just an exposition scene.  It's also the calm before the storm.  But to make it even a little bit dramatic, I'm framing it as a continuation of the "Erroneous judgment" subplot.

Chapter 11:

#7 "Falling prey to misfortune"

I think this is pretty self-explanatory.

Chapter 12:

#33 "Erroneous judgment"

Chapter 13:

#33 "Erroneous judgment"

This one is an "Erroneous judgment", too, but a different error.  Tiffani is bothered because she's afraid that Britney may have caused -- intentionally or unintentionally -- the scratches on Ariel.  She wants Philip to tell her that the scratches were paranormal, so she doesn't have to inform Child Protective Services that Ariel may not be safe with her mother.  But Philip isn't telling her that yet.  (Though, she hasn't actually voiced this to Philip, but she doesn't want to "pollute" Philip's opinions of the case with preconceived notions.)

This scene will work or fail to work based on how well I represent the subtext.  Either I will have the Reader asking what's going on inside Tiffani's mind, or they will be bored.

Chapter 14:

#17A1 "Fatal imprudence; Imprudence the cause of one's own misfortune"

So while this chapter is my excuse to talk about the martial arts, and the unusual feats one can accomplish with training, the dramatic underpinnings are "Fatal imprudence" -- Drunk dude challenges Philip to a fight and Philip defeats him without actually fighting him; drunk dude embarrasses himself when he was hoping to embarrass a smaller opponent.

Chapter 15:

#12 "Obtaining"

Philip is trying to obtain evidence.  He fails, but Tiffani has obtained potentially useful background information on the property that the Brimes' house was build on.

Chapter 16:

#12 "Obtaining"

Philip and Noel have both obtained EVPs.

Chapter 17:

#20C "Self-sacrificing for an ideal; Sacrifice of well-being to duty"

This is kind of a re-cap scene, to let the Reader know where Philip and CTPI are in the Mystery.  But I'm ending it on a note of Philip not wanting to sacrifice his well-being for duty.

Chapter 18:

#28 - Part 2 "Obstacles to love"

I'm removing an "obstacle to love"... sort of...

I mean, the Reader knows Philip is going to have to investigate again.  But I'm hoping that this scene makes the Reader feel that Philip still has a chance with Amber, and I'm also  hoping the Reader will like Amber enough to want Philip to be with her.  (So I can rip them apart by the end of the novel...  What a heartless bastard I am!)

Chapter 19:

#20C "Self-sacrificing for an ideal; Sacrifice of well-being to duty"

...sort of...

In the next chapter, Philip actually has figured out how he doesn't have to sacrfice anything at all!

But, still, any drama that can be gotten from this scene would have to be that beat or two where it looks as though Philip is going to have to sacrifice for duty.

Chapter 20:

#12 "Obtaining"

I'm gonna call this chapter "Obtaining" because really it's about Philip figuring out a way to have his cake and eat it, too.

Chapter 21:

#12 Obtaining

The 2nd investigation was a bust, and they believe it might be because Carlton is keeping Britney away from the investigations.  (He's the "Adversary who is refusing" in this scenario.)

Chapter 22:

#12 Obtaining

This is kind of the follow-up to the previous scene, dramatically speaking, but it's also kind of "#2A - Part 3", sort of, since it's a key part of the main storyline.

But the way to milk the best dramatic cream from the scene is to emphasize the "Obtaining" part -- the fact that they are being blocked from "obtaining", specifically.

Chapter 23:

#28 - Part 3 "Obstacles to love"

The obstacle has fallen.

You know, I wonder if I haven't stumbled onto a really great situation here...  The Reader KNOWS that Philip is going to solve the case.  But right at this moment, it seems as though that's not possible.  And in this moment when the Reader should be disappointed that Philip seemingly is off the case, it looks like Philip is going to get the girl.  But... Does the fact what we KNOW Philip is going to solve the case mean that Philip is NOT going to get the girl?

If I can get my Reader asking this question, at least subconsciously, then I may be in pretty good shape!  :D

Chapter 24:

#30A3 "Ambition watched and guarded against by a relative or person under no obligation"

This was a tough one, because when I read the outline of the scene, I wasn't sure, at first, what was happening dramatically.  It's just an exposition scene, right?

But this scene is something that happens in life, so I operated under the assumption that Polti had covered EVERYTHING.  I mean, some writers maybe would write this simply as exposition and move on...but I'm not confident enough to be one of those writers.  So I looked and looked, and sure enough...!

"The Ambitious person Covets a Thing, however that ambition is guarded against by an Adversary."

Max and Philip "covet" a resolution to the mystery.  In the context of this chapter, the "Adversary" is both Carlton, who kicked them off the case, and also what they don't know, the facts that will eventually allow them to solve the mystery.

And keeping "Ambition" in mind, the chapter plays out two instances of this: Max is mourning the loss of a case that really got her juices flowing for the first time in a while, and then the second part is Philip resuming the pursuit when he finds another avenue of possible information.

Chapter 25:

#2A - Part 3

Here the "Unfortunates" are, once again threatened by the "Threatener" and are renewing their plea for help from the "Rescuer".

I don't know if I was unwittingly clever to stage it this way or not, but I have Tiffani calling Philip and asking for help for the Brimeses on their behalf.  It may be clever (or not) because of the symmetry: Ultimately, Philip is "rescuing" the Brimes family, but it's actually Tiffani that convinces him to investigate; so it seems sort of symmetrical here that it's a phone call from her that re-enlists Philip into the investigation.  Carlton can kick them both off the case, but it's Tiffani that gets Philip back on it.

I dunno...maybe it's nothing, actually.  It just seemed neat when I realized it, and I don't remember doing it on purpose.  (That's just the way I imagine it would play out in real life.)

Chapter 26:

This one is clearly 2 different dramatic situations:

#12B "Obtaining; Endeavor by means of persuasive eloquence alone"

I think this is self-explanatory.  As is the second dramatic situation:

#28 - Part 4 "Obstacles to love"

Chapter 27:

#33 "Erroneous judgment"

I'm furthering my Red Herring here.

But I wonder if this is actually the dramatic beat I'm writing...

Because all these scenes that I've been labeling as "Erroneous judgment" never actually play out that moment, the moment of the judgment being proved to be erroneous.  So am I being lazy and coping out here?

I guess they're all PARTS of an overall "Erroneous judgment" storyline.

So I should have attached a "Part 1", "Part 2", etc.

But I won't.

Now I'm being lazy.

Chapter 28:

#12B "Endeavour by means of persuasive eloquence alone"

This is actually exposition, again.  It's late enough in the novel that I need to start guiding Philip (and the Reader) toward the ACTUAL solution, so Philip just happens to make an observation that leads him to ask the correct questions that confirm his supision.

Chapter 29:

#33 "Erroneous judgment"

I'm calling this an "Erroneous judgment" because the bulk of it is Tiffani trying to finally confirm the Red Herring hypothesis.  But the rest of it is Philip taking action to confirm or debunk his new theory about the Elemental entity.  (But that's all done on the DL so the Reader starts asking "WTF?" so that I can explain it later.)

Chapter 30:

#7 "Falling prey to misfortune"

This is a bit of a misnomer, because Philip interracting with Britney and the ghost girl in the kitchen is extremely FORTUNATE.  In many ways, it's what the Reader has been waiting for.

But #7 is just the best way to write the scene.  It should be a scare.  (Hopefully.)  And "Falling prey to misfortune" is the best characterization of "scare" that Polti offers.

Chapter 31:

#7 "Falling prey to misfortune"

Again, this is the best dramatic designation for how I want to write this scene.  The Reader needs to feel as though something really, really bad is happening, although for Philip this is the best thing he could hope for.  He has confirmed another of his theories.

Chapter 32:

#33 "Erroneous judgment"

Noel and Carlton have misjudged the importance of what happened last chapter.  And what Philip tells Carlton hints this to the Reader.

Chapter 33:

#12 "Obtaining"

This couldn't be more straight-forward.  Philip is literally obtaining information that (probably) validates one of his theories about what's going on in the Brimes house.

Chapter 34:

#31 "Conflict with a god"

Elements:
- An Immortal
- A Mortal

Summary:
The Mortal challenges the Immortal. There are consequences.

I think this is the dramatic situation that best fits.

Though, this is the last scene of that storyline, and nobody realized that they were dealing with an "Immortal" until now.  (Except for Philip.  He began to suspect back in Chapter 28.)

Chapter 35:

#2A- Part 4 "Deliverance; Appearance of a rescuer to the condemned."

This is it, the ultimate moment of the story.  Philip delivers Poe from his burden to protect his sister, and in so doing he delivers the Brimes family from the threat that has shaken up their lives for so many months.

Chapter 36:

#0 "Exposition"

In this chapter, I'm not worried about the whole chapter simply being exposition.  This is a Mystery story, and I think the Reader will be satisfied to have Philip explain what has been going on and how he figured it all out.

And if it doesn't work, I'll add a dramatic framework to this chapter in the rewrite.

Chapter 37:

I don't think I'm going to worry about a dramatic framework for the wrap-up, either.  This is me and the Reader saying good-bye to the book, so I think it'll be fine if it's written well.

--

So I'm done with the Polti Report!!!  :D

It seems like there was one more thought I wanted to add to this before I post it...  It's not coming to me though...

OH YEAH!  "PLATFORM DOCUMENT!"

John Vorhaus (I want to say it's in THE LITTLE BOOK OF SITCOM) says that when he's training a staff writer, he is disappointed if the first draft of their script too closely resembles their outline.  He feels that every document should be treated like a platform document, and changes to the story and characters should occur throughout ever stage of the writing.

I believe the idea is that we're not meant to spend too much time at any stage trying to get every little detail perfect.  We're meant to allow each stage to be imperfect, and trust that we will make it better in each progressive stage of the process.

We're meant to trust the process.

So even though I have taken the time to identify each Dramatic Situation in the outline, I will feel free to drastically alter any aspect of what I have outlined if I come up with a better idea on the day.

Theoretically, the novel that lead you to read this blog should be very different than the outline I have posted.  The outline is meant to make sure I haven't left any glaring plot holes in my story, and to make sure I've got it all sorted in my head.  (I just found one hole, though...  I need to make sure Philip learns Doddy's and Poe's names earlier in the story, and I haven't actually written that into the outline.  So the outline appears to be working.)  It will also protect me from that horrible, soul-devouring question: "What happens next?!"

So now it's time to write me a novel!  :D

Polti's Invaluable Tool

So back in 1916 this French writer, Georges Polti, pored over classical Greek and French stories, as well as contemporary (in 1916) French literature.  And after this he observed that there are only 36 Dramatic Situations, ever.  And he wrote a book about it, citing examples.

I am, by nature, a thorough learner.  At first I learn enough to be getting on with, but when a subject intrigues me I can't learn enough.  I want to learn everything that can be learned about that subject EVER.

I am especially like this with my writing.  I am insecure about my writing.  I know I can write well enough to impress many (maybe, under the right circumstances, even most) but I am also keenly aware that I am, by no stretch of the imagination, the best.  I am no Shakespeare, I am no Whedon, I am no Sorkin nor Crichton nor Adams.  So if there are any tools out there that might help ensure that my craft is at least as good as I can make it at this moment, I WANT IT!

Enter Monsieur Polti's list...

Despite not being published, I have written enough to know that the worst sin I can commit is to be boring, particularly in long-form fiction, where I am asking the Reader to bare with me as I drop bread crumbs leading them to a narrative payoff.  I have been a reader for enough newbie screenplays that I know noobs can write "scenes" that aren't actually scenes at all.  I mean, people say stuff and people do things, but the scene has no beginning to speak of or end.  It just starts and stops, and completely fails to advance the story or our understanding of the characters to any significant degree.

And I get it!  I've done it tons!  You've got this great action or this great line of dialog you need to get out there so people can say, "That's a cool line!" or, "That was awesome!"  But the problem is that if the script/novel/story you stick that action or line into sucks, you might get the compliments you were hoping for, but it's couched within an uncomfortable, "No, yeah, it was good... I like that one line!"

I don't want to plant a pearl in a pile of shit and be remembered for that.  I want that one pearl to stand out among a string of pearls!  Hell, I would love it if people forgot that one pearl because they are so passionately in love with one of the other many pearls I've created!  How cool would THAT be?!  You've created so much goodness that people miss YOUR favorite line/action because they have adopted something (maybe something you didn't even know would resonate) that you've created!

Okay, so part of my defense against mediocrity is the Outline: I make sure my entire story doesn't suck before I invest the man hours an imagination it's going to take for me to realize this world and these characters and situations.

Another way is to (try to) make sure that every scene is actually a scene.  AND -- and these are both pretty tightly bound up with Polti's list of 36 Dramatic Situations -- I want to make sure I UNDERSTAND WHAT I'M CREATING.

The best way to illustrate this is to suggest you watch ANY of the X-MEN movies not directed by Brett Ratner, then watch X-MEN: LAST STAND.  Other directors know what they're trying to get the Audience to feel, but Ratner has NO concept of human emotions.  He just wants to get as quickly as possible to the next action scene.  You can see that the screenwriters have created for a moment for two characters to have "a moment", for those amazing actors to really earn their pay, but Ratner doesn't give a shit; he just wants to blow something else up.

Okay, maybe that's not the best illustration...  (Besides, I would hate to inflict X3 on any unsuspecting innocent...)  (Just watch the OTHER X-MEN flicks, there are 5 others as of this writing, ALL excellent!)

Let's say you have a scene in a Comedy wherein a cute chick is trying to avoid an annoying jock dude at a party.  He has already expressed a desire to hook-up with her, and she has rejected him as gently as she can manage...  Too gently, in fact.  Jock-O thinks she's into him since she hasn't actually said the word "No" to him.

She's all alone at the party (her "wingman" is distracted by something else), and she suddenly realizes she doesn't have line-of-sight on Jockstrap!  Oh shit!  She needs to find Wingman-chick before Jock-strap finds her!  So she moves from room to room, carefully scoping out the corners and nitches as she enters each room, moving as stealthily through each room as she can...

But what she doesn't know is that Jock-strap is right behind her, following her, waiting for her to land somewhere so he can continue his "romantic" advance.

So you're write this scene, describing what you see in your head, and you expect the situation to strike the Reader as hilarious as it appears in your mind.

BUT...

The scene would play so much more hysterically if you realized that you were actually writing A HORROR SCENE!  Specifically, a Slasher scene!

I mean, the scene doesn't end with Cute Chick's bloody demise, but that doesn't actually matter.  To get the biggest response from the joke, you can write this section of your story as though it were a horror scene, and the Cute Chick is trying to flee the evil Slasher, and when he catches up with her it's (figuratively) as though she has been slain by a stalker.

Actually, there may be a better way to approach this particular scene literarily (if that's a real word), but you get my point, right?  You can write a scene where Cute Chick tries to find her Wingman (Wingperson), which possesses no inherent emotional investment by the Reader, or you write a scene in which she is stalked by Jock-hugger.  And even if you fail to bring off any real, genuine feelings of suspense in the Reader during that scene, I'll bet you that they'll give you props for the effort!

Because one scene is written boringly and one is written with some attitude!

In the stuff I've read, I am much more liable to give credit to a scene that tries and fails than I am a scene that merely trudges forward, forcing me to grit my teeth until the next cool scene comes along.

Speaking of trudging along, I feel as though this horse is thoroughly dead, and my whippin' arm's getting tired.

What I really should be doing -- what I should have started doing about an hour ago -- is writing my "Polti Report".

I'm analyzing my novel in 3 ways:

1. The story as a whole
2. Each individual scene
3. The major movements (or sequences) within the story made up by collections of scenes

I want to make sure I know what type of scene/sequence I'm writing, and make sure I have all the essential elements that make up each scene.

And I will be doing that with this handy version of the 36 Dramatic Situations...

By the way, this step is also useful for balance en the Creative Mind and the Analytical mind.  Creating scenes for my outline, I have been largely engaging my Creative Mind.  (Is that Left brain or Right Brain?  I can't keep them straight.)  And I noticed that as soon as I decided that my outline was complete and it is time to actually write the chapters, I Analytical Mind started finding way to convince me that the novel isn't going to be good enough, that I don't know what I'm doing, and that no one is going to buy this book after it's published.

The Analytical Mind is like that.  It doesn't seem to like things that aren't perfect.  (And what really IS perfect?!)

See, I think the Analytical Mind is just afraid of being made unimportant by the Creative Mind that is going to be doing the heavy lifting for the next few months.  The Creative Mind is about to take over and virtually LIVE the novel a I crank out pages, and I will be keeping the Analytical Mind locked as far, far away as I can manage while I'm pounding out those pages.

However...!

When I make those notes on the printed version of my Outline denoting what type of scene I'm writing, my Analytical Mind will have something to do in the background while my Creative Mind is creating an immersive experience for me and (hopefully) the Reader!

So doing this comparison before I jump into the pages allows my Creative Mind to rest and gather its strength, and it allows my Analytical Mind to get involved in the process again, and then have something to occupy it while Creative Mind is playing blissfully on the page.

("Okay, I need you to keep count of all the blue cars that drive by.  Can you do that for me?  It's important that I know how many blue cars drove past while I was fixing this flat tire, so I'm trustig you to really pay attention and keep count for me, okay?")

Final Outline!!!

PHILIP BLACKWOOD MYSTERIES #1
Outline

by

Ray Jay Edwards

Scene 1:

BRITNEY BRIMES (25) is in the kitchen and sees a LITTLE BOY out of the corner of her eye.  She doesn't hear anything, just turns to see the boy running out of the kitchen.

Britney follows the boy, but he's not in the living room.  She walks on to the storage room, and finds the Little Boy standing there, staring at her, looking unhappy.  She tells him she's seen the little girl, but never seen him.  The Little Boy doesn't answer.

Does he know the little girl?  Is he is her friend?

The Little Boy says, "I'm not a boy," his voice deepens, his eyes become dark sockets, and he morphs, "I'm the Debbul."

Britney screams and flees.

Scene 2:

PHILIP BLACKWOOD (26) arrives at MISTY's house.  He has brought XAVIER, Misty's neighbor, with him.  Philip explains to Xavier that Misty has been bothered by monthly thumps on her roof that she feared were paranormal.  Xavier laughs, and also seems embarrassed about this.  Philip takes Misty and Xavier out front to show Misty the tree at the edge of Xavier's back yard that hangs over the edge of her roof.  He explains that Xavier has a cat who, once a month when the moon is full, freaks out, climbs the tree and scampers across Misty's roof to get to the Benny family's back yard.  The Benny's have two cats that Xavier's cat, Lilith Puffysox, likes to play with.  But Philip suggests that Xavier explains WHY this happens every full moon... Xavier has a garden in his back yard, and he is Wiccan.  Every full moon he performs a ritual inviting the gnomes to bless his garden.  This activity freaks Lilith Puffysox right out, so she escapes Xavier's yard to play with the Benny's cats, and shows up the next morning on Xavier's doorstep.  MISTY has no idea Xavier was a witch; she and Xavier strike up a friendship.  Philip's phone rings: TIFFANI needs a favor.

Scene 3:

TIFFANI meets PHILIP at a food cart.  She asks how the movie-review show is going and Philip says it's fine.  Tiffani says Max and Noel miss him; he misses them, too.  Yeah?  Yeah, Philip misses all of it, the coffee, the sitting for hours in the dark, trying to act like a responsible adult around clinets, meetings at (insert cool Austin restaurant), the whole thing.  Tiffani asks if he can help them out with one more case.  Philip jokingly asks is there's any chance it's on a weeknight and Tiffani says "no" but rushes into the pitch: The Brimes Family are being tormented, but the group -- Central Texas Paranormal Investigators (CTPI) -- can't solve it.  It's too powerful to be residual or intelligent ghosts, it is actually hurting the family and their daughter, but 2 religious cleansings have failed to exile whatever it is, and no Catholic churches in the Central Texas area will area will sanction an official cleansing.  Philip wants to help, but James (the other overnight guy) hates working on his days off and Saturday is when they tape the show.  But Philip can see that Tiffani is really, really hoping for Philip's help, so he offers to look at the evidence CTPI has collected.

Scene 4:

PHILIP review's evidence:

1. A little girl, DODDY, actually converses with the team for a couple of minutes.
2. An inhuman growl is heard in EVP.
3. A night table in the baby's room is moved 17 inches on video.
4. A small shadow turns into a large, menacing shadow on IR video.

Philip is intrigued enough to help.

Scene 5:

TIFFANI takes PHILIP to meet CARLTON BRIMES.  Britney and Ariel are at Britney's mothers.  If possible, Carlton would rather wrap this up before Ariel comes home.  (This is unrealistic, but Philip holds his tongue, though Tiffani is uncomfortable with this unrealistic expectation, too, he can tell.)

Ariel's Room: Ariel scratched, furniture moving.
Kitchen: Little girl seen.
Storage room: Little boy turns into "the devil".  Growl EVP.
Parents' bedroom: Aural conversation with Doddy.
Parents' bathroom: Banging on inside, not heard outside.
Guest bathroom (near Ariel's room): Guest pushed into shower.
Hallway: Shadow IR video.

Scene 6:

Thursday Night - As soon JAMES gets in PHILIP begs him to cover Saturday.  James obviously wants to say "no", argues in his head for a few minutes, then says he'll do it.  RELIEF!  Philip tracks down AMBER.  They banter (maybe even flirt?) for a bit, then Philip dives in: He gives her a jump drive with his scripts and video and begs her to forgive him for not being able to make it Saturday.  Amber becomes an ice queen.  Philip tries to explain that he wouldn't do this if he had a choice, and Amber informs him he doesn't.  She's barely holding this show together, scrounging every bit of advertising she can con out of someone because the General Manager keeps hinting the show doesn't make enough money to keep it on the air, and now Philip is bailing, too?  He's not bailing, he just can be here Saturday.  "That's fine", Amber says, but Philip knows it's not fine.

Scene 7:

PHILIP meets TIFFANI to talk about the case.  He's going to tell her that can continue helping them on his days off, reviewing evidence or whatever he can do, but he just can't get the time off work, but Tiffani launches right in with the background: New house, no recorded deaths or psychic trauma.  Whole neighborhood was an empty field before that.  This fact interests Philip, but he won't say why just yet, he's still going to beg off the case.  Tiffani is worried this might be "inhuman", but since "civilian" cleansings didn't work, there might be nothing CTPI can do for the Brimes family.  (During their, the 2nd, cleansing, CTPI utilized an ordained minister, so they're up against the wall.)  There is another aspect that makes Tiffani want to solve the case for the Brimes family, but she doesn't want to taint Philip's opinion.  Philip starts to explain that he can't do it, but the look on Tiffani's face won't let him.

Scene 8:

6:00 pm - PHILIP, TIFFANI, MAX and NOEL arrive to investigate Brimes house.  Philip mentions that he thinks it would be really helpful to talk to Britney Brimes, and that seems to make CARLTON really, really nervous.  (This happens over dinner.)

Scene 9:

6:55 pm - Setup happens, PHILIP & TIFFANI investigate Ariel's Room while MAX and NOEL investigate the Storage Room.  45 minutes of nothing.  (7:45 pm) TIFFANI and PHILIP investigate Parents' Bedroom while MAX and NOEL investigate Parents' Bathroom.  Another 45 minutes of nothing.  (8:37 pm) PHILIP and MAX investigate Guest Bathroom while NOEL fast-forwards through what they have of the Hallway so far and TIFFANI checks her audio to see if she has anything.  45 more minutes of nothing.

Scene 10:

9:24 pm - CARLTON has been surfing the Net in the Study for the last two-and-a-half hours.  He seems nervous (acting suspicious) when PHILIP tells him they haven't found anything yet.  Philip mentions this.  Carlton explains that he never believed in this stuff before, and he's still not comfortable with it now.  But since...since he can't deny it now, he's been noticing all kinds of strange things.  He thought he saw...no, he's sure he saw a black panther at the edge of his property one night, only twice as large as a doberman, maybe larger.  Britney has always been interested in this stuff, as Philip can tell from her DVDs, and a giant back cat doesn't figure into it.  Philip explains that that's not unheard of in the paranormal world, but he senses that there is more to Carlton's unease.  Carlton is hiding something.

Scene 11:

9:30 pm - Noel volunteers to watch the cameras (set up in the Study) while PHILIP, TIFFANI and MAX investigate the Kitchen.  Tiffani leads the EVP session, trying to engage Doddy.  Tiffani's questions are about what it was like when Doddy lived here.  After no responses, Max asks how Doddy died.  (Philip thinks this question is a mistake, but doesn't say anything.)  Max suddenly can't breathe.  They end the session and leave the room, and Max gets her breath back.

Scene 12:

9:51 pm - CARLTON is worried that maybe they should end the investigation for tonight.  MAX absolutely does not want to!  NOEL worries about an entity that would attack Max.  Is it, maybe, that dark thing they saw in the hall last time?  The thing that growled?  (Assuming they are the same entity.)  MAX is excited they're getting a response; it it wants to attack her again, she's not scared.  TIFFANI doesn't want CTPI to stir up anything that they can't deal with, and then leave Carlton here alone afterward.  PHILIP suspects it wasn't an attack: He points out that Max asked how Doddy died; maybe Doddy was "showing" her.

Scene 13:

10:01 pm - PHILIP, TIFFANI, MAX, NOEL and CARLTON are all in the Kitchen trying to contact Doddy.  10:44 pm rolls around with no results.  10:49 - 11:30 pm PHILIP and MAX investigate Ariel's room.  11:40 pm - 12:25 am PHILIP and NOEL investigate the Storage Room.  12:35 - 1:20 am PHILIP and TIFFANI sit quietly in the Hallway.  At 1:48 am Philip and CTPI have packed-up and leave CARLTON, Tiffani insisting he call her cell phone if anything happens or if Carlton needs anything.  They'll review the audio and video they caught tonight and let him know.  As Max and Noel drive off, Tiffani asks what Philip thinks.  He'll let the data inform his opinion, but right now he doesn't see anything especially odd about this haunting.  Tiffani isn't pleased with this assessment -- she clearly wants Philip to come to some specific conclusion about this case, but she won't tell Philip what's bothering her.

Scene 14:

MAX and TIFFANI talk PHILIP into joining them for a drink after the investigation.  "Like old times."  The only bar close is a Sports bar.  Tiffani, Max, Philip and NOEL discuss the case...  Max goes to the restroom.

Noel spots Max on her way out of the restroom, pinned down by a drunken BRO.  Noel eggs Philip on to "rescue" Max because Noel likes watching Philip do his Jeet Kune Do thing...

Points to make:
1. If you know how to fight, you don't have to.
2. One-Inch Punch looks like it's magic, but it's not.  (Chi?)
3. Philip seems to anticipate opponent's attack by "sensing" or predicting his next move.  Again, looks like magic but it's not.

Scene 15:

Sunday night - PHILIP works.

Monday evening - Philip begins reviewing his audio and makes notes.  He gets about halfway through it because he places audio recorders in room where he isn't.

Monday night - TIFFANI calls to see if Philip has found anything.  She and the others found nothing, so far.  Some possible EVPs and a few "orbs" in pictures (probably dust), but nothing of interest.  However, Tiffani did some research and found out that there was a low-rent apartment complex on the land for a couple of years before the land was bought by the Tiger Group out of Japan.  (1995 - 2001)  This get's Philip's attention.  He asks her if she will keep digging, and if Noel can check out UFO reports in that area while she's doing that.  Tiffani asks what Philip is thinking but he's not sure it's even worth mentioning.

Scene 16:

Tuesday night - PHILIP hears an inhuman growl uttering "GET OUT!" from the recorder in the Parent's Bathroom.  He checks the time; it's right around when Max couldn't breath in the Kitchen.  He checks the time on his audio recording of the Kitchen incident: It's an exact match!  He picks up his phone to call Tiffani, but his phone rings right at that instant: It's NOEL...  Noel has an EVP from the Storage Room that Philip needs to hear...

Scene 17:

Wednesday evening - PHILIP meets CTPI at TIFFANI's house.  NOEL feels that the identical EVPs happening at the exact moment when Max couldn't breath indicates she was attacked.  MAX is uncharacteristically scared by the EVPs.  Philip points out "Then why didn't the religious ceremonies work?"  So, Noel wants to know, what's Philip's theory.  Philip doesn't have one yet, he's still analyzing the facts.  Noel spells out the case for demonic infestation:

1. Ariel scratched
2. Little boy turns into "The Devil"
3. Parents' bathroom banging
4. Guest pushed into shower
5. Inhuman growl EVP
6. Night table in Ariel's room moves 17 inches
7. Small shadow turns into Large shadow
8. "Get out!" and Max can't breathe
9. Demons reported to pretend to be ghosts of children

But the religious cleansings would have worked if it were demonic.  Tiffani talked to Carlton earlier today and there wasn't anything going on in the house since the investigation, so they still have time to figure this out.  They just need to investigate again.  But Philip can't take another day off work...

Scene 18:

Thursday - At the TV station, PHILIP visits AMBER's office.  He wants to apologize again for Saturday.  Amber apologizes instead for her behavior: Amber is barely holding this show together, scrounging every bit of advertising she can con out of someone because the General Manager keeps hinting the show doesn't make enough money to keep it on the air, and Philip not showing up Saturday seemed like maybe he sensed the ship was sinking and was going overboard before it sank beneath them all.  A little flirtatiously, Amber asks if Philip DVR-ed the show.  He did, and he loved her changes to his segments.  Amber says she had to tweak his scripts a little because the way he writes is so... HIM.  (She makes it sound like a compliment...and maybe a come-on.)  Philip has to get back to work.

Scene 19:

At work, PHILIP checks his emails.  He got an email from Noel listing the UFO reports in the area: One witness spotted lights in the sky twice this year.  Two witnesses spotted a craft here last year. One spotted lights last year.  Another 3 spotted lights 4 years ago.

TIFFANI stops by the TV station.  Philip is surprised.  Tiffani couldn't sleep.  She explains her worry about this case: At first, her fear was that Britney might have accidentally scratched Ariel and used the paranormal activity as an excuse.  If this were what happened, should she contact Child Protective Services?  She was hoping that Philip would figure out what was causing the activity and Tiffani wouldn't need to make that decision.  But now she's worried about another possibility, one that's not as black-and-white as "a mom accidentally scratched her child".  Philip knows what she means, the option they were all avoiding, the possibility of a poltergeist scenario.  Tiffani wants them to investigate Saturday.  Philip can't... Unless...

Scene 20:

Saturday, In the Studio, 5:46 pm - The Movie Review show wraps up, and AMBER is super flattering to PHILIP about his segments.  He thanks her, but he really has to get to work.  She understands.

In Master Control, 5:58 pm - JAMES shows up, grumpy, to relieve Philip.  Philip thanks James profusely but James is pissed-off.

The Brimes Home - 6:37 pm - Philip arrives as CTPI has finished setting up.  The second investigation begins...

Scene 21:

Tuesday night - Philip meets with CTPI.  All evidence review provided nothing, nada, no evidence.  TIFFANI says they're going to have to investigate with Britney there.  NOEL and MAX don't understand.  Tiffani and PHILIP fill them in on their poltergeist hypothesis.  If Britney is poltergeist agent, why doesn't activity cease completely when she's not around?  One theory is that agent only amplifies activity that is present -- though, perhaps dormant -- before agent introduced to location.  So maybe agent stirred up activity so much that even when she's gone it's still going.  Even if that is the case, the activity should pick up when she's around.  Tiffani says they're going to need to talk Carlton into it.

Scene 22:

TIFFANI and PHILIP meet with CARLTON and explain the need to investigate with Britney present, but Carlton opposes vehemently.  They explain that this is the only way to verify that Britney isn't a poltergeist agent, and Carlton knows why they want her present, be he doesn't want this to happen.  He admits that since he wasn't a believer, once he became convinced this was all really happening he started reading up on this.  He has suspected for a while now that Britney might be a poltergeist agent, but he was hoping CTPI and Philip would prove him wrong.  He almost wishes it were demonic because if it were it could be exorcised, but now that they have proved his fears correct, he's calling off the case.  No more investigations.  If i is poltergeist and Britney is the agent, everything Carlton has read says that Britney needs to go to therapy, and he's not going to force her to do that.  Philip tries to explain that this is just a hypothesis, they have to prove it or disprove it still, but Carlton isn't having any of it.  "Please leave!"

Scene 23:

Thursday, at the TV Station - AMBER visits PHILIP.  She looked for him later Saturday night but found James working.  Philip explains that he had a paranormal investigation.  Amber didn't know that Philip did that, and they discuss what paranormal investigation involves.  Philip says this investigation is over, but it's still nagging at him.  He can't share it with Amber -- confidentiality -- but there are just some things he wishes he had the answers to.  Amber goes back home, leaving on a promising note.  (Maybe Philip gets the sense that he could have kissed her if he had just gone for it.)

Scene 24:

Friday, before work - MAX calls PHILIP.  She's bummed about the case.  This was the first time she had been scared since she started investigating six years ago and she wanted to find out what was going on.  Noel mentioned that Philip asked him about UFO reports; s'up with that?  Philip explains that sometimes ley lines converge and create a vortex, an opening point from other "dimensions" (for lack of a better word).  At these points, you tend to get ALL kinds of activity.  And when that happens, that patch of land tends to have a very, very long history or activity, going all the way back to...  Philip has an idea, can he call her back later?

Friday, TV Station, News Room - PHILIP asks reporter NATALIE HAMMOND if she can look into police reports from Brimes neighborhood between 1990 and 2000.  She asks if he's looking for anything in particular, but he's interested if she find anything at all.

Scene 25:

Tuesday - TIFFANI calls PHILIP.  It was Britney.  While she was bathing Ariel in the master bathroom, she heard a loud bang from Ariel's room, and when Carlton went in to see what had happened, Ariel's crib was upside down against the wall, as though someone had thrown it there.  The Brimes family wants CTPI to come back, and Britney has agreed to be present.  They want to know what's going on in their home.

Scene 26:

Thursday, At the TV Station - PHILIP asks JAMES to fill in...again.  James begins a long, loud rant about how much he hates working and how self-centered Philip is for asking James to fill in and--  James holds up a bottle of Tito's Handmade Vodka in a velvet gift bag...and a bottle of Mr & Mrs T Bold & Spicy Bloody Mary mix.  James, accepts them and says filling in on Saturday won't be a problem at all.

Philip tells AMBER he needs Saturday off.  She tells him he's off the show.  (She can't fire him because they are both  employed by the station to do other jobs, to they are both, technically,  volunteers on the show.)  She's not cruel about it, and she believes that PHILIP believes in this paranormal stuff, but she believes in her show.  Now he has all the time he needs.

Scene 27:

Brimes Home, 5:15 pm - TIFFANI is listening to BRITNEY explain what happened Tuesday night.  PHILIP observes them while NOEL and MAX set up the equipment.  Footsteps can be heard running down the hall.  Philip had an audio recorder rolling in Ariel's room; it should have picked the sound up.  Tiffani confers with Philip: The investigation hasn't even begun and the activity has already started.  Philip observes that that doesn't prove Britney is a poltergeist agent, and Tiffani concurs, "But it doesn't prove she's not, either."

Scene 28:

6:31 pm - At dinner, MAX coos over the salad.  Britney beams that they're from Carlton's garden.  She says that Ariel doesn't like vegetables, but she love's Carlton's tomatoes.  Carlton tells the story of how he had Ariel in the garden with him while he worked, and she was tearing out cherry tomatoes by the handful...  Not s much to eat them as to play with them.  Britney excuses herself from the room.  Philip asks when this was.  Carlton recalls it was probably 3 months ago.  Around the time when she was scratched?  Come to think of it, yes, around that time, why?  Did Carlton pick these vegetables earlier today?  No, he picked them Tuesday; they've been sitting in the refrigerator since then so he thought he make a salad out of them tonight.  The friend who was shoved in the guest bathroom, had Carlton shown him the garden?  Carlton can't remember, probably, why?  Parent's bedroom door SLAMS, scaring everyone out of their seats.

Scene 29:

6:39 pm - In the study, everyone watches again and again as NOEL replays the video of the Parents' Bedroom door slamming shut all by itself.  BRITNEY walks out of the bedroom, then 12 seconds later the door slams shut.  Britney has no idea how that happened.  CARLTON says that door never opens or closes by itself.  TIFFANI wants to ask Britney some questions.  Everyone clears the Study and Tiffani begins asking how Britney is doing, if she had been feeling stressed before this stuff started happening, if Britney can remember hearing or seeing things as a kid that grownups told her was her imagination, and so on...  PHILIP knows the drill and takes this opportunity to sneak out.  Minutes later he slips into the Kitchen, holding a flower, and listens for a few minutes as MAX conducts an EVP session.  Then Philip slips quietly out of the kitchen and walks down the hall toward Ariel's room.  He trips and face-plants on the ground, dropping the flower.  Tiffani and Britney rush up to him, they saw it on the monitor.  No one can find what Philip tripped on.  Philip also can't find the flower he had dropped.

Scene 30:

10:02 pm - PHILIP walks into the kitchen to find BRITNEY staring, silent.  He asks what's up and Britney asks doesn't he see her.  Her?  Britney points.  Philip doesn't see anything.  Britney insists that "she" is right there!  Philip walks slowly toward the spot, his hand outstretched, feeling.  Philip stops cold when he feels a tiny hand grab his own hand.  He reacts physically and AT THE SAME TIME Britney says, "Did you feel that?  She just grabbed your hand!"

Scene 31:

10:07 pm - Excited, PHILIP brings BRITNEY into the Storage Room.  He tries to speak to whoever is in here.  Britney doesn't want to be in here; she's terrified.  Philip assures her that whoever is in here can't hurt her.  "Can you, little boy?"  No response.  "Little boys can't hurt anyone, can they, little boy?"  The angry BOY with the glowing red eyes appears.  "Ime nodda lil boy.  Ime da debbul."  A loud banging grows inside the room.  Britney flees.  Max and Carlton poke their heads in.  But Philip stands there until the banging abruptly stops.

Scene 32:

11:14 pm - In the Study, PHILIP keeps replaying the audio of "Ime da debbul" over and over again.  NOEL asks him to stop it.  He offers to help them pack the gear up, but it's almost already finished.  CARLTON is barely containing his anger; what did Philip think he was doing in there?  But Philip is giddy.  "Mr. Brimes, you and your family have nothing to fear here.  When we come back, I will have answers for you, and I don't believe you or Britney or Ariel will ever be bothered again."

Scene 33:

Reporter NATALIE HAMMOND finds PHILIP at work.  She hands him a printout of what she's found, and she also emailed it to him, but she wanted to be sure this is what he was looking for.  Philip thinks this might be exactly what he was looking for and thanks her profusely.

Scene 34:

PHILIP knocks on XAVIER's door.  He has some questions about Elementals, nature spirits.  Xavier asks, "What do you want to know?

In the Brimes garden, Philip makes an offering of milk, honey, bread, coffee beans and tobacco to the Elemental, explaining that the Elemental is welcome outside the house, and the family will not disturb this garden again.  But inside the house is for the family, and the Elemental is not welcome there.  He then explains to Carlton that if he does any more gardening, he needs to respectfully ask permission to disturb the land, and he need to ask permission to pick anything he has planted.  If he ever feels unwelcome in the garden, he should leave and try coming back later.  But as long as he is respectful, he shouldn't have any problems in Areil's room again.

Scene 35:

In the Storage Room, PHILIP asks POE if he's protecting his sister Doddy.  The banging in the room begins.  Philip is patient, understanding.  he explains that he is not here to hurt Poe or Doddy.  In fact, nobody can hurt either of them any more.  They are free.  They don't have to stay in this house if they don't want to.  They can go where ever they want.  But whether they go somewhere else or stay here, no one can hurt either of them.  They are safe.  Poe don't need to protect Doddy anymore.  Poe has done a really, really great job at being strong for his sister, but they are both safe now.  BRITNEY starts crying.  CARLTON asks what's wrong.  Britney says that, for no reason, she suddenly feels a sense of relief.

Scene 36:

PHILIP explains all.  The BRIMES Family is safe here.

Scene 37:

TIFFANI and PHILIP are having lunch to discuss how the Brimes family is doing now.  Tiffani asks how the movie-review show is going; Philip says that Amber isn't speaking to him; she's not being rude, but it's like he kind of doesn't exist to her anymore.  Tiffani asks Philip one final question about the Brimes case...

The Jeet Kune Do Scene

Came up with another scene.  I'll call it "Scene 13a" for now.

I spent yesterday (Monday...  Since I haven't been to sleep yet, this is still "Tuesday" to me) considering whether or not I should go ahead and start my first draft with the outline as it is.  Do I need one more scene for Investigation #2 and three more scenes before wrapping up the mystery?

I don't think so.  I think the second investigation contains all the information and action it needs, and the only reason to put off the wrap-up of the story would be if I could intensify the novel one more notch before letting everybody off the hook.

And I don't think I can do that.  (Not until after I've finished an read the first draft, anyway.)

It'll mean I need to average about 2,223 words per chapter (instead of 2,000 words per chapter) to achieve my goal of no less than 80,0000 words, but I'll bet I can manage.

Actually, now it's 2,163 words per chapter.

It occurred to me on the way home from work this morning that I might want to put Philip in at least one non-paranormal physical confrontation.  Most "heroes" can kick ass, and Philip can, too, but he never (almost never) gets himself into a situation that requires him to fight.  However, it might be useful for my Reader to know that Philip CAN fight, when necessary.  (Because he's a smart guy, it's just never necessary.)

So as I played this scene out in my mind -- What would Philip do when confronted with a drunken, testosterone-riddled Alpha male? -- I have him not punching his attacker, but simply not-being-punched by his attacker.  As I would do.  My brother taught me Jeet Kune Do about 18 years ago, and I have yet to need it.  I mean, I use the philosophies that underlie Bruce Lee's fighting techniques, but I've never been forced to so much a block a punch.  In THE TAO OF JEET JUNE DO, Bruce emphasizes several times that the best fighter knows how to avoid fighting.  But Jeet Kune Do can be applied to every physical move you make, the way you look at any situation, the way you choose to respond to any problem.  In an interview, when asked if he used is father's fighting style (meaning Jeet Kune Do) Brandon Lee said it wasn't so much a fighting style as a philosophy for living, and I believe that can easily be true.  But if I ever get into a fight, my weapon of choice is Jeet Kune Do.

But in particular, I was thinking about the way you can use Jeet Kune Do to manipulate your opponent's body against his will.  He can jab you in the chest, and it will hurt.  But he's only jabbing you with the force of his finger, wrist, forearm, and maybe his bicep.  You, however, can press on his chest with the force of your toes, feet, ankles, calves, thighs, hips, torso, shoulder, bicep, forearm, wrist and finger, and push him totally off his balance.

To any onlookers, you both did the same thing.  But you remained immobile and he feinted backward like you're finger weighs a hundred tons.

You're doing the same thing as Lee's One-Inch Punch: You're channeling the power from most of the muscles in your body into your finger, and instead of aiming for his chest, you're aiming BEHIND his chest.  But anyone watching sees the exact same motion.

It's kind of like magic...

...and that's when I realized the true value of this scene!  :D

CHI!  Bruce Lee -- ALL martial artists -- talk about Chi, the subtle energy that flows through our bodies.  It's not scientifically proven, but Western Medicine is no longer able to deny the observable effects of Eastern treatments like acupuncture and acupressure!  Yoga is in an upswing of popularity, and that's about getting the Chi flowing properly!

With this one scene -- initially intended to make sure more mainstream readers don't think my protagonist is an egg-head wimp -- I can convey SO MUCH about paranormal investigation!

With Bruce Lee's One-Inch Punch, does it work because he's channeling his Chi, or does it work because he's using more muscles than the ordinary person?  He said it was both.  Or could it be a psychological effect?  (You think you're able to channel more power into your finger, fist, whatever, and therefor you, somehow, are able?)

THAT is what paranormal investigation IS!  We don't know what's going on or how it works, but we're exploring theories, some of them scientific and some of them ancient folk wisdom, and just trying to collect more data so that we might one day understand the phenomena better!  :D

And if I write the scene right, I don't even have to make a particularly obvious link between the two for the benefit to carry over to the rest of the book in the reader's subconscious!

I may make it obvious for the first draft, just to see how it goes over with my Beta Readers.  But just explaining a little bit about how some apparently "mystical" martial arts techniques work will do the job of making some of the rest of the stuff toward the end of the novel seem a bit more plausible, even to a non-investigator!  :D

Writing!

It's kind of like magic!

Outline 007

PHILIP BLACKWOOD MYSTERIES #1

Outline 007

Sc 01 - BRITNEY BRIMES (25) is in the kitchen and sees a LITTLE BOY out of the corner of her eye.  She doesn't hear anything, just turns to see the boy running out of the kitchen.

Britney follows the boy, but he's not in the living room.  She walks on to the storage room, and finds the Little Boy standing there, staring at her, looking unhappy.  She tells him she's seen the little girl, but never seen him.  The Little Boy doesn't answer.

Does he know the little girl?  Is he is her friend?

The Little Boy says, "I'm not a boy," his voice deepens, his eyes become dark sockets, and he morphs, "I'm the Debbul."

Britney screams and flees.

Sc 02 - PHILIP BLACKWOOD (26) arrives at MISTY's house.  He has brought XAVIER, Misty's neighbor, with him.  Philip explains to Xavier that Misty has been bothered by monthly thumps on her roof that she feared were paranormal.  Xavier laughs, and also seems embarrassed about this.  Philip takes Misty and Xavier out front to show Misty the tree at the edge of Xavier's back yard that hangs over the edge of her roof.  He explains that Xavier has a cat who, once a month when the moon is full, freaks out, climbs the tree and scampers across Misty's roof to get to the Benny family's back yard.  The Benny's have two cats that Xavier's cat, Lilith Puffysox, likes to play with.  But Philip suggests that Xavier explains WHY this happens every full moon... Xavier has a garden in his back yard, and he is Wiccan.  Every full moon he performs a ritual inviting the gnomes to bless his garden.  This activity freaks Lilith Puffysox right out, so she escapes Xavier's yard to play with the Benny's cats, and shows up the next morning on Xavier's doorstep.  MISTY has no idea Xavier was a witch; she and Xavier strike up a friendship.  Philip's phone rings: TIFFANI needs a favor.

Sc 03 - TIFFANI meets PHILIP at a food cart.  She asks how the movie-review show is going and Philip says it's fine.  Tiffani says Max and Noel miss him; he misses them, too.  Yeah?  Yeah, Philip misses all of it, the coffee, the sitting for hours in the dark, trying to act like a responsible adult around clinets, meetings at (insert cool Austin restaurant), the whole thing.  Tiffani asks if he can help them out with one more case.  Philip jokingly asks is there's any chance it's on a weeknight and Tiffani says "no" but rushes into the pitch: The Brimes Family are being tormented, but the group -- Central Texas Paranormal Investigators (CTPI) -- can't solve it.  It's too powerful to be residual or intelligent ghosts, it is actually hurting the family and their daughter, but 2 religious cleansings have failed to exile whatever it is, and no Catholic churches in the Central Texas area will area will sanction an official cleansing.  Philip wants to help, but James (the other overnight guy) hates working on his days off and Saturday is when they tape the show.  But Philip can see that Tiffani is really, really hoping for Philip's help, so he offers to look at the evidence CTPI has collected.

Sc 04 - PHILIP review's evidence:

1. A little girl, DODDY, actually converses with the team for a couple of minutes.
2. An inhuman growl is heard in EVP.
3. A night table in the baby's room is moved 17 inches on video.
4. A small shadow turns into a large, menacing shadow on IR video.

Philip is intrigued enough to help.

Sc 05 - TIFFANI takes PHILIP to meet CARLTON BRIMES.  Britney and Ariel are at Britney's mothers.  If possible, Carlton would rather wrap this up before Ariel comes home.  (This is unrealistic, but Philip holds his tongue, though Tiffani is uncomfortable with this unrealistic expectation, too, he can tell.)

Ariel's Room: Ariel scratched, furniture moving.
Kitchen: Little girl seen.
Storage room: Little boy turns into "the devil".  Growl EVP.
Parents' bedroom: Aural conversation with Doddy.
Parents' bathroom: Banging on inside, not heard outside.
Guest bathroom (near Ariel's room): Guest pushed into shower.
Hallway: Shadow IR video.

Sc 06 - Thursday Night - As soon JAMES gets in PHILIP begs him to cover Saturday.  James obviously wants to say "no", argues in his head for a few minutes, then says he'll do it.  RELIEF!  Philip tracks down AMBER.  They banter (maybe even flirt?) for a bit, then Philip dives in: He gives her a jump drive with his scripts and video and begs her to forgive him for not being able to make it Saturday.  Amber becomes an ice queen.  Philip tries to explain that he wouldn't do this if he had a choice, and Amber informs him he doesn't.  She's barely holding this show together, scrounging every bit of advertising she can con out of someone because the General Manager keeps hinting the show doesn't make enough money to keep it on the air, and now Philip is bailing, too?  He's not bailing, he just can be here Saturday.  "That's fine", Amber says, but Philip knows it's not fine.

Sc 07 - PHILIP meets TIFFANI to talk about the case.  He's going to tell her that can continue helping them on his days off, reviewing evidence or whatever he can do, but he just can't get the time off work, but Tiffani launches right in with the background: New house, no recorded deaths or psychic trauma.  Whole neighborhood was an empty field before that.  This fact interests Philip, but he won't say why just yet, he's still going to beg off the case.  Tiffani is worried this might be "inhuman", but since "civilian" cleansings didn't work, there might be nothing CTPI can do for the Brimes family.  (During their, the 2nd, cleansing, CTPI utilized an ordained minister, so they're up against the wall.)  There is another aspect that makes Tiffani want to solve the case for the Brimes family, but she doesn't want to taint Philip's opinion.  Philip starts to explain that he can't do it, but the look on Tiffani's face won't let him.

Sc 08 - 6:00 pm - PHILIP, TIFFANI, MAX and NOEL arrive to investigate Brimes house.  Philip mentions that he thinks it would be really helpful to talk to Britney Brimes, and that seems to make CARLTON really, really nervous.  (This happens over dinner.)

Sc 09 - 6:55 pm - Setup happens, PHILIP & TIFFANI investigate Ariel's Room while MAX and NOEL investigate the Storage Room.  45 minutes of nothing.  (7:45 pm) TIFFANI and PHILIP investigate Parents' Bedroom while MAX and NOEL investigate Parents' Bathroom.  Another 45 minutes of nothing.  (8:37 pm) PHILIP and MAX investigate Guest Bathroom while NOEL fast-forwards through what they have of the Hallway so far and TIFFANI checks her audio to see if she has anything.  45 more minutes of nothing.

Sc 10 - 9:24 pm - CARLTON has been surfing the Net in the Study for the last two-and-a-half hours.  He seems nervous (acting suspicious) when PHILIP tells him they haven't found anything yet.  Philip mentions this.  Carlton explains that he never believed in this stuff before, and he's still not comfortable with it now.  But since...since he can't deny it now, he's been noticing all kinds of strange things.  He thought he saw...no, he's sure he saw a black panther at the edge of his property one night, only twice as large as a doberman, maybe larger.  Britney has always been interested in this stuff, as Philip can tell from her DVDs, and a giant back cat doesn't figure into it.  Philip explains that that's not unheard of in the paranormal world, but he senses that there is more to Carlton's unease.  Carlton is hiding something.

Sc 11 - 9:30 pm - Noel volunteers to watch the cameras (set up in the Study) while PHILIP, TIFFANI and MAX investigate the Kitchen.  Tiffani leads the EVP session, trying to engage Doddy.  Tiffani's questions are about what it was like when Doddy lived here.  After no responses, Max asks how Doddy died.  (Philip thinks this question is a mistake, but doesn't say anything.)  Max suddenly can't breathe.  They end the session and leave the room, and Max gets her breath back.

Sc 12 - 9:51 pm - CARLTON is worried that maybe they should end the investigation for tonight.  MAX absolutely does not want to!  NOEL worries about an entity that would attack Max.  Is it, maybe, that dark thing they saw in the hall last time?  The thing that growled?  (Assuming they are the same entity.)  MAX is excited they're getting a response; it it wants to attack her again, she's not scared.  TIFFANI doesn't want CTPI to stir up anything that they can't deal with, and then leave Carlton here alone afterward.  PHILIP suspects it wasn't an attack: He points out that Max asked how Doddy died; maybe Doddy was "showing" her.

Sc 13 - 10:01 pm - PHILIP, TIFFANI, MAX, NOEL and CARLTON are all in the Kitchen trying to contact Doddy.  10:44 pm rolls around with no results.  10:49 - 11:30 pm PHILIP and MAX investigate Ariel's room.  11:40 pm - 12:25 am PHILIP and NOEL investigate the Storage Room.  12:35 - 1:20 am PHILIP and TIFFANI sit quietly in the Hallway.  At 1:48 am Philip and CTPI have packed-up and leave CARLTON, Tiffani insisting he call her cell phone if anything happens or if Carlton needs anything.  They'll review the audio and video they caught tonight and let him know.  As Max and Noel drive off, Tiffani asks what Philip thinks.  He'll let the data inform his opinion, but right now he doesn't see anything especially odd about this haunting.  Tiffani isn't pleased with this assessment -- she clearly wants Philip to come to some specific conclusion about this case, but she won't tell Philip what's bothering her.

Sc 14 - Sunday night - PHILIP works.

Monday evening - Philip begins reviewing his audio and makes notes.  He gets about halfway through it because he places audio recorders in room where he isn't.

Monday night - TIFFANI calls to see if Philip has found anything.  She and the others found nothing, so far.  Some possible EVPs and a few "orbs" in pictures (probably dust), but nothing of interest.  However, Tiffani did some research and found out that there was a low-rent apartment complex on the land for a couple of years before the land was bought by the Tiger Group out of Japan.  (1995 - 2001)  This get's Philip's attention.  He asks her if she will keep digging, and if Noel can check out UFO reports in that area while she's doing that.  Tiffani asks what Philip is thinking but he's not sure it's even worth mentioning.

Sc 15 - Tuesday night - PHILIP hears an inhuman growl uttering "GET OUT!" from the recorder in the Parent's Bathroom.  He checks the time; it's right around when Max couldn't breath in the Kitchen.  He checks the time on his audio recording of the Kitchen incident: It's an exact match!  He picks up his phone to call Tiffani, but his phone rings right at that instant: It's NOEL...  Noel has an EVP from the Storage Room that Philip needs to hear...

Sc 16 - Wednesday evening - PHILIP meets CTPI at TIFFANI's house.  NOEL feels that the identical EVPs happening at the exact moment when Max couldn't breath indicates she was attacked.  MAX is uncharacteristically scared by the EVPs.  Philip points out "Then why didn't the religious ceremonies work?"  So, Noel wants to know, what's Philip's theory.  Philip doesn't have one yet, he's still analyzing the facts.  Noel spells out the case for demonic infestation:

1. Ariel scratched
2. Little boy turns into "The Devil"
3. Parents' bathroom banging
4. Guest pushed into shower
5. Inhuman growl EVP
6. Night table in Ariel's room moves 17 inches
7. Small shadow turns into Large shadow
8. "Get out!" and Max can't breathe
9. Demons reported to pretend to be ghosts of children

But the religious cleansings would have worked if it were demonic.  Tiffani talked to Carlton earlier today and there wasn't anything going on in the house since the investigation, so they still have time to figure this out.  They just need to investigate again.  But Philip can't take another day off work...

Sc 17 - Thursday - At the TV station, PHILIP visits AMBER's office.  He wants to apologize again for Saturday.  Amber apologizes instead for her behavior: Amber is barely holding this show together, scrounging every bit of advertising she can con out of someone because the General Manager keeps hinting the show doesn't make enough money to keep it on the air, and Philip not showing up Saturday seemed like maybe he sensed the ship was sinking and was going overboard before it sank beneath them all.  A little flirtatiously, Amber asks if Philip DVR-ed the show.  He did, and he loved her changes to his segments.  Amber says she had to tweak his scripts a little because the way he writes is so... HIM.  (She makes it sound like a compliment...and maybe a come-on.)  Philip has to get back to work.

Sc 18 - At work, PHILIP checks his emails.  He got an email from Noel listing the UFO reports in the area: One witness spotted lights in the sky twice this year.  Two witnesses spotted a craft here last year. One spotted lights last year.  Another 3 spotted lights 4 years ago.

TIFFANI stops by the TV station.  Philip is surprised.  Tiffani couldn't sleep.  She explains her worry about this case: At first, her fear was that Britney might have accidentally scratched Ariel and used the paranormal activity as an excuse.  If this were what happened, should she contact Child Protective Services?  She was hoping that Philip would figure out what was causing the activity and Tiffani wouldn't need to make that decision.  But now she's worried about another possibility, one that's not as black-and-white as "a mom accidentally scratched her child".  Philip knows what she means, the option they were all avoiding, the possibility of a poltergeist scenario.  Tiffani wants them to investigate Saturday.  Philip can't... Unless...

Sc 19 - Saturday, In the Studio, 5:46 pm - The Movie Review show wraps up, and AMBER is super flattering to PHILIP about his segments.  He thanks her, but he really has to get to work.  She understands.

In Master Control, 5:58 pm - JAMES shows up, grumpy, to relieve Philip.  Philip thanks James profusely but James is pissed-off.

The Brimes Home - 6:37 pm - Philip arrives as CTPI has finished setting up.  The second investigation begins...

Sc 20 - Tuesday night - Philip meets with CTPI.  All evidence review provided nothing, nada, no evidence.  TIFFANI says they're going to have to investigate with Britney there.  NOEL and MAX don't understand.  Tiffani and PHILIP fill them in on their poltergeist hypothesis.  If Britney is poltergeist agent, why doesn't activity cease completely when she's not around?  One theory is that agent only amplifies activity that is present -- though, perhaps dormant -- before agent introduced to location.  So maybe agent stirred up activity so much that even when she's gone it's still going.  Even if that is the case, the activity should pick up when she's around.  Tiffani says they're going to need to talk Carlton into it.

Sc 21 - TIFFANI and PHILIP meet with CARLTON and explain the need to investigate with Britney present, but Carlton opposes vehemently.  They explain that this is the only way to verify that Britney isn't a poltergeist agent, and Carlton knows why they want her present, be he doesn't want this to happen.  He admits that since he wasn't a believer, once he became convinced this was all really happening he started reading up on this.  He has suspected for a while now that Britney might be a poltergeist agent, but he was hoping CTPI and Philip would prove him wrong.  He almost wishes it were demonic because if it were it could be exorcised, but now that they have proved his fears correct, he's calling off the case.  No more investigations.  If i is poltergeist and Britney is the agent, everything Carlton has read says that Britney needs to go to therapy, and he's not going to force her to do that.  Philip tries to explain that this is just a hypothesis, they have to prove it or disprove it still, but Carlton isn't having any of it.  "Please leave!"

Sc 22 - Thursday, at the TV Station - AMBER visits PHILIP.  She looked for him later Saturday night but found James working.  Philip explains that he had a paranormal investigation.  Amber didn't know that Philip did that, and they discuss what paranormal investigation involves.  Philip says this investigation is over, but it's still nagging at him.  He can't share it with Amber -- confidentiality -- but there are just some things he wishes he had the answers to.  Amber goes back home, leaving on a promising note.  (Maybe Philip gets the sense that he could have kissed her if he had just gone for it.)

Sc 23 - Friday, before work - MAX calls PHILIP.  She's bummed about the case.  This was the first time she had been scared since she started investigating six years ago and she wanted to find out what was going on.  Noel mentioned that Philip asked him about UFO reports; s'up with that?  Philip explains that sometimes ley lines converge and create a vortex, an opening point from other "dimensions" (for lack of a better word).  At these points, you tend to get ALL kinds of activity.  And when that happens, that patch of land tends to have a very, very long history or activity, going all the way back to...  Philip has an idea, can he call her back later?

Friday, TV Station, News Room - PHILIP asks reporter NATALIE HAMMOND if she can look into police reports from Brimes neighborhood between 1990 and 2000.  She asks if he's looking for anything in particular, but he's interested if she find anything at all.

Sc 24 - Tuesday - TIFFANI calls PHILIP.  It was Britney.  While she was bathing Ariel in the master bathroom, she heard a loud bang from Ariel's room, and when Carlton went in to see what had happened, Ariel's crib was upside down against the wall, as though someone had thrown it there.  The Brimes family wants CTPI to come back, and Britney has agreed to be present.  They want to know what's going on in their home.

Sc 25 - Thursday, At the TV Station - PHILIP asks JAMES to fill in...again.  James begins a long, loud rant about how much he hates working and how self-centered Philip is for asking James to fill in and--  James holds up a bottle of Tito's Handmade Vodka in a velvet gift bag...and a bottle of Mr & Mrs T Bold & Spicy Bloody Mary mix.  James, accepts them and says filling in on Saturday won't be a problem at all.

Philip tells AMBER he needs Saturday off.  She tells him he's off the show.  (She can't fire him because they are both  employed by the station to do other jobs, to they are both, technically,  volunteers on the show.)  She's not cruel about it, and she believes that PHILIP believes in this paranormal stuff, but she believes in her show.  Now he has all the time he needs.

Sc 26 - Brimes Home, 5:15 pm - TIFFANI is listening to BRITNEY explain what happened Tuesday night.  PHILIP observes them while NOEL and MAX set up the equipment.  Footsteps can be heard running down the hall.  Philip had an audio recorder rolling in Ariel's room; it should have picked the sound up.  Tiffani confers with Philip: The investigation hasn't even begun and the activity has already started.  Philip observes that that doesn't prove Britney is a poltergeist agent, and Tiffani concurs, "But it doesn't prove she's not, either."

Sc 27 - 6:31 pm - At dinner, MAX coos over the salad.  Britney beams that they're from Carlton's garden.  She says that Ariel doesn't like vegetables, but she love's Carlton's tomatoes.  Carlton tells the story of how he had Ariel in the garden with him while he worked, and she was tearing out cherry tomatoes by the handful...  Not s much to eat them as to play with them.  Britney excuses herself from the room.  Philip asks when this was.  Carlton recalls it was probably 3 months ago.  Around the time when she was scratched?  Come to think of it, yes, around that time, why?  Did Carlton pick these vegetables earlier today?  No, he picked them Tuesday; they've been sitting in the refrigerator since then so he thought he make a salad out of them tonight.  The friend who was shoved in the guest bathroom, had Carlton shown him the garden?  Carlton can't remember, probably, why?  Parent's bedroom door SLAMS, scaring everyone out of their seats.

Sc 28 - 6:39 pm - In the study, everyone watches again and again as NOEL replays the video of the Parents' Bedroom door slamming shut all by itself.  BRITNEY walks out of the bedroom, then 12 seconds later the door slams shut.  Britney has no idea how that happened.  CARLTON says that door never opens or closes by itself.  TIFFANI wants to ask Britney some questions.  Everyone clears the Study and Tiffani begins asking how Britney is doing, if she had been feeling stressed before this stuff started happening, if Britney can remember hearing or seeing things as a kid that grownups told her was her imagination, and so on...  PHILIP knows the drill and takes this opportunity to sneak out.  Minutes later he slips into the Kitchen, holding a flower, and listens for a few minutes as MAX conducts an EVP session.  Then Philip slips quietly out of the kitchen and walks down the hall toward Ariel's room.  He trips and face-plants on the ground, dropping the flower.  Tiffani and Britney rush up to him, they saw it on the monitor.  No one can find what Philip tripped on.  Philip also can't find the flower he had dropped.

Sc 29 -

Sc 30 - 10:02 pm - PHILIP walks into the kitchen to find BRITNEY staring, silent.  He asks what's up and Britney asks doesn't he see her.  Her?  Britney points.  Philip doesn't see anything.  Britney insists that "she" is right there!  Philip walks slowly toward the spot, his hand outstretched, feeling.  Philip stops cold when he feels a tiny hand grab his own hand.  He reacts physically and AT THE SAME TIME Britney says, "Did you feel that?  She just grabbed your hand!"

Sc 31 - 10:07 pm - Excited, PHILIP brings BRITNEY into the Storage Room.  He tries to speak to whoever is in here.  Britney doesn't want to be in here; she's terrified.  Philip assures her that whoever is in here can't hurt her.  "Can you, little boy?"  No response.  "Little boys can't hurt anyone, can they, little boy?"  The angry BOY with the glowing red eyes appears.  "Ime nodda lil boy.  Ime da debbul."  A loud banging grows inside the room.  Britney flees.  Max and Carlton poke their heads in.  But Philip stands there until the banging abruptly stops.

Sc 32 - 11:14 pm - In the Study, PHILIP keeps replaying the audio of "Ime da debbul" over and over again.  NOEL asks him to stop it.  He offers to help them pack the gear up, but it's almost already finished.  CARLTON is barely containing his anger; what did Philip think he was doing in there?  But Philip is giddy.  "Mr. Brimes, you and your family have nothing to fear here.  When we come back, I will have answers for you, and I don't believe you or Britney or Ariel will ever be bothered again."

Sc 33 -
Sc 34 -
Sc 35 -
Sc 36 - Reporter NATALIE HAMMOND finds PHILIP at work.  She hands him a printout of what she's found, and she also emailed it to him, but she wanted to be sure this is what he was looking for.  Philip thinks this might be exactly what he was looking for and thanks her profusely.

Sc 37 - PHILIP knocks on XAVIER's door.  He has some questions about Elementals, nature spirits.  Xavier asks, "What do you want to know?

In the Brimes garden, Philip makes an offering of milk, honey, bread, coffee beans and tobacco to the Elemental, explaining that the Elemental is welcome outside the house, and the family will not disturb this garden again.  But inside the house is for the family, and the Elemental is not welcome there.  He then explains to Carlton that if he does any more gardening, he needs to respectfully ask permission to disturb the land, and he need to ask permission to pick anything he has planted.  If he ever feels unwelcome in the garden, he should leave and try coming back later.  But as long as he is respectful, he shouldn't have any problems in Areil's room again.

Sc 38 - In the Storage Room, PHILIP asks POE if he's protecting his sister Doddy.  The banging in the room begins.  Philip is patient, understanding.  he explains that he is not here to hurt Poe or Doddy.  In fact, nobody can hurt either of them any more.  They are free.  They don't have to stay in this house if they don't want to.  They can go where ever they want.  But whether they go somewhere else or stay here, no one can hurt either of them.  They are safe.  Poe don't need to protect Doddy anymore.  Poe has done a really, really great job at being strong for his sister, but they are both safe now.  BRITNEY starts crying.  CARLTON asks what's wrong.  Britney says that, for no reason, she suddenly feels a sense of relief.

Sc 39 - PHILIP explains all.  The BRIMES Family is safe here.

Sc 40 - TIFFANI and PHILIP are having lunch to discuss how the Brimes family is doing now.  Tiffani asks how the movie-review show is going; Philip says that Amber isn't speaking to him; she's not being rude, but it's like he kind of doesn't exist to her anymore.  Tiffani asks Philip one final question about the Brimes case...