Security Blanky

I'm taking a quick break from writing my screenplay to share something with you.

A security blanket, of sorts.

At the end of last year I found a friend who would help me out by MAKING me turn in script pages to her every week. I used the Stephen King method of writing a script: Start on Page One and keep going until it's finished.

And it was painful and it was empty and it was crap. I was able to write pages, I could fill pages, but there was no real depth or meat. I was just filling pages.

So I talked my buddy into letting me switch to an idea that had some thematic meat in it, and then starting with an outline, too. She agreed.

And I was getting some stuff done, too!

I didn't have the outline finished before I started writing pages to see how long each story beat played out.

GOOD pages! :)

I've heard (read) it said that when you take actions, the angels move the heavens to help you achieve your goal. (That's from Steven Pressfield in The War of Art.)

Well, I popped in a dvd a friend had given me, and discovered A WRITING SECURITY BLANKET!!! :D

The provider of the blanket is Dov S-S Simens, and he offers a no-bullshit school for filmmakers. He has, apparently, been making films for decades, worked his way up from a development executive to a producer, and he's here to give it to you straight.

Part of his (expensive, but very useful) filmmaking course is writing your screenplay. And you can find it in article form here.

In the dvd, Simens says that despite the fact that all screenwriting teachers and gurus say there is no formula to writing a screenplay, there IS a formula, and if you don't follow it you won't sell your screenplay, and here it is.

That bit gets a huge laugh from his class on the dvd, and you laugh, too, when he says it.

It's a bit misleading, though. Because it's not a formula, really. You still have to do the work of creating a wold and people in it and everything that happens within that world.

What he gives us, rather, is a security blanket.

Beginning writers, I have found, get blocked because we just don't know HOW to know when our work is good. Yeah, we can pound out pages... But that's not all we want to do! Simply WRITING isn't our goal. Our goal is to write something GREAT.

But how do we KNOW it's great?!!

Not to detract from our Anonymous Benefactor, but he's/she's been writing for YEARS. And writing IN THE INDUSTRY. He/she knows if what they're doing is good or not, if only because he/she gets a PAYCHECK from it. Paycheck=good, no paycheck=not good.

But what about you and me? What about we poor folks who feel as though we're possibly years away from being able to judge our material by how much we make off it?

Enter Mr. Simens...

He says that what every movie needs is 5 "Uh-Ohs", 5 "Oh Shits" and an "Oh My God!"

And if you think about it, I believe that may be the security blanky we've all been looking for.

How do you know your screenplay is great?

People go "Uh-oh" and "Oh shit" 5 times in your movie, then they go "oh my god!"

I mean, how much more bulletproof does your script need to be?!!

If whomever is reading your script says "uh-oh" and "oh shit" 5 times while reading your script, then yells "oh my god!' then they have had a good time! They have enjoyed reading your movie!

Moreover, Mr. Simens makes it even easier for us...

He says he's never seen a bad Act I and never seen a bad Act III. Ever.

Which makes sense: Act I is getting to know the people and the world, and Act III is solving the problem. Getting to know new people and a new world is inherently interesting for human beings, and watching a problem being solved is also inherently interesting for human beings.

It's that middle hour that threatens to bore folks.

So if you've got 5 Uh-ohs/Oh Shits followed by an Oh My God! in there, YOU SAFE! You're home free. You're holding a winning lottery ticket, and you just need to go cash it in.

SOMEBODY is going to buy that screenplay from you. You may not make your first million off it, but you're definitely getting your WGA card.

The math is in your favor!

Let's say you're writing a standard two-hour, 120-page script. (The ideal page-count is 110 for a spec script, so the math works even BETTER for you.)

Act I is your first 30 pages, and Act III is your last 30 pages. That's 60 pages that you can feel fairly secure about. Pages 1 through 30 introduce the people/world/situation, so professional readers are very likely to keep reading, if only to see where you're going with this thing. And if they get to Page 90, you've GOT them.

So where you're most likely to lose them is pages 31-90.

That's 60 pages of treacherous territory. (If you're reading this blog, you may worry that you might lose YOURSELF within that wasteland.)

So we fill that space with 5 Uh-Ohs/Oh Shits.

Okay, so at the VERY LEAST, you know you've got 11 pages worth reading there. It's going to take at least a page to make someone go "Uh-oh." And it's going to take at least a page to make someone go "Oh shit!" and at least a page to make someone go "Oh my god!"

So your worrisome 60 pages becomes 49 pages.

BUT...

If you place those Uh-ohs/Oh Shits and that Oh My God every 10 pages, you can feel confident that your reader will follow you to the next exciting moment. Remember, professional readers read HUNDREDS of screenplays every week, and they WANT TO find the next great screenplay! They're getting paid to read these scripts, so they HAVE TO read them. They expect to read crap, but they secretly HOPE to be the one to discover the next Good Will Hunting or Lethal Weapon.

So when they pick up your script, they WANT it to be good!

I've been a volunteer reader for South By Southwest and I know whereof I speak. Nothing sucks more than reading a bad story (and you WOULD NOT BELIEVE how bad the stories that you're competing with out there ARE!) and nothing is COOLER than being transported away from work by a story that really compels and entertains you!

So these readers WANT your screenplay to be a good read! It benefits THEM just as much as it does YOU.

So if every 10 pages or so you're making them go "uh-oh" and "oh shit!" they will gleefully follow you to the next exciting moment! :D

Alright, so that gives you 71 pages out of your 120-page script (which might actually only be 110 -- which is ideal -- or 90 -- which is the shortest screenplay you can get away with) that you can feel confident in.

BUT WAIT A SECOND...

A scene is usually more than a single page long!

In fact, your average scene is usually 2 pages long. If you're writing really gripping material, it might even be 3 pages long.

So those comfort-providing 11 pages (in the treacherous Act II) become (more or less) 22 pages! Maybe as many as 33 pages! :D

Okay, so you CAN NOT convince me that you can't be interesting for 48 pages! I mean, c'mon! You've already for 82 pages that that you KNOW are going to interest a tired, bleary-eyed professional reader!

82 PAGES!!!

The remaining 48 are CAKE! ;P

Furthermore, Simens warns us to make sure we grab him 4-6 lines in on Page 1, then again at the bottom of Page 1. After that, we need to grab him again on Page 10, and then every 10 pages or so after that.

This guy used to be a Development Executive -- i.e. Professional Reader -- when he started out in Hollywood. So if our script keeps his attention, then we can feel safe that our script will keep ANYONE's attention.

AND SO...

If you can craft a script under those specifications, you can feel completely safe that you have written a GREAT script!

Like I said, it's like holding a winning lottery ticket.

So, the "formula"...

1 jolt at the top of Page 1,
1 jolt at the bottom of Page 1,
1 jolt on Page 10,
1 jolt every 10 pages,
5 Uh-ohs/Oh Shits in Act II,
1 Oh My God in Act II,
1 good Act III.

There you go. There's your blanky.

THAT is all you need to know to write a screenplay that you KNOW will entertain the person who will get your screenplay sold.

I hope this makes you feel more comfortable in your writing, and removes the blocks for you as it did for me!!! :D (And I wasn't even blocked when I stumbled onto this information!)